I am so blessed yet there are so many days I do not know it. So blessed. I just finished watching "The Color Purple" for the first time. Wow. To have people that you love that love you, that is the 2nd greatest gift in the world, other than Jesus dying on the cross and rising again to save us. People that love us for who we really are, sin, wrinkles, yucky looking feet and all. This is what brings life and joy to our days. Oh I can get caught up in so many things that do not matter at all. Who cares if I weigh 10 pounds more than I want to weigh? Life is short. Children grow up fast. Health is a blessed gift as well that does not last forever. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, yesterday is gone, and all we have is today. Why waste that time lamenting what I am not, or what I do not have? Why waste that time worrying about things that likely may never happen, when my worrying would not make things better anyway??
I get to go on a vacation with my family to somewhere beautiful and stay there for free. Family members feed us and enjoy our company.
There have been plenty of times I have begrudged my housework, and fantasized about having a day completely to myself. I am SO blessed to be able to stay home and care for our daughter and our house. I am blessed to have pots to wash because it means I got to eat. It means there are people that I love that love me and enjoy being around me.
Last Thursday I started waking up early again and I feared the worst - that what happened to me this past fall was going to happen again. I started having some worries. I got scared.
But I made a choice. I will choose faith over fear. God offers me that choice. In the past I have made the choice for fear and let it take over my life. Choosing faith is hard because it involves a retraining of my brain. It is hardest in the morning. But I believe I always have the choice. God offers me another way of living. He will carry it all for me, but I have to offer it to him- all my fears and worries. He wants to carry it for me. He does not want me to suffer like I did last fall, when my trust was in our bank account rather than my Heavenly Father. Checks may bounce but prayers to Jesus do not.
