Today I did feel that someone other than myself (meaning God) was in control. As carefully as I had calculated to make sure we had enough nuggets for the preschool class, we had a lot left over. I was planning to bring them home and freeze them and/or give some away. God had other plans. On our way home from preschool Margaret and I saw a man asking for help at the intersection of Sharon Amity and Monroe. We had seen him before and spoken briefly with him (all that you can do at that intersection). As I offered him some nuggets his face lit up and then I saw that the light had turned green. I told him I would find somewhere to park. Conveniently there is a cemetary on the corner so I simply pulled into the cemetary.
I was trying to figure out how to give him some of the nuggets as he was walking over. I had the big tray with lid, large plastic bag, and soggy paper bag filled with different sauces. He brainstormed with me and shared some of his situation. He and his wife had 4 kids between the 2 of them and they were staying at a hotel (and had been staying there for a year). At that point I told him to just take all of the nuggets and sauces.
He has a hernia which makes it impossible for him to work in his former field of construction. His wife is working at Burger King. They will not hold the room for them, so he is collecting money everyday for the hotel. He would like to be working (in a not physically straining job) but he really can't afford to stop asking for money in order to go looking for a job. His name was Levi.
He has been going to a church he mentioned but I did not know it. He said God has been sustaining him. He said he thought that sometimes God allows us to go through these challenging times because there are certain things we need to learn.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Confronting my own self-centeredness. . .
I can definitely say that God has been working on me through various venues. In our family group from church we have been reading, The Meaning of Marriage. It is written by Tim Keller based on a number of sermons he preached about marriage. So far Chapter 2 has been the kicker for me. The part that convicted me most? It was, "Confronting Our Own Self-Centeredness". Mr. Keller quotes 2nd Corinthians chapter 5 verse 15 in regard to Jesus,"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again". I have been a Christian my whole life and have heard this plenty of times, as well as the following verse. "Whoever finds his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:39)
Yet, somehow I never really got it until I read, "There is the essence of sin, according to the Bible - living for ourselves, rather than for God and the people around us" (pg. 63 in The Meaning of Marriage). I stopped for a bit after reading this. The Holy Spirit within me convicted me that this was how I had been living. I sometimes tried to do nice things for people, but giving my life away for others was not a way of life for me. Throughout the day what guided me was how I felt and what I wanted - my passions and desires. Ultimately this drove most of my decisions. Mr. Keller goes on to say, "This is why Jesus can sum up the entire law - the entire will of God for our lives - in two great commands: to love and live for God rather than ourselves and to love and put the needs of others ahead of our own (Matthew 22:37-40).
I have noticed people giving much of themselves for others and for certain ministries and thought, "How can they do that?" I just really was not that giving. And, I have recognized that I was taking my husband for granted, and would do better for awhile, and then fall back into my old patterns.
I cannot find the quote, (and it is possible it might be in another Christian book I am reading)but somewhere I read that we cannot give ourselves up in this way (as the Bible teaches) unless it is out of Holy Spirit filled gratitude for what Jesus did on the cross.
I then realized that I have been taking my salvation for granted. I started praying that the Holy Spirit would reveal to me the depths of my sin and more understanding of what Jesus went through for me. God has been answering this prayer - primarily the first part at this point.
For so long I have focused on my pet sin of turning to food for comfort, entertainment, soothing, etc. I now believe Satan was encouraging me in this because it kept my focus off of the deeper rooted sin of my worship of self (and my desires, etc). I have been living to please myself. More to come later. . .
Yet, somehow I never really got it until I read, "There is the essence of sin, according to the Bible - living for ourselves, rather than for God and the people around us" (pg. 63 in The Meaning of Marriage). I stopped for a bit after reading this. The Holy Spirit within me convicted me that this was how I had been living. I sometimes tried to do nice things for people, but giving my life away for others was not a way of life for me. Throughout the day what guided me was how I felt and what I wanted - my passions and desires. Ultimately this drove most of my decisions. Mr. Keller goes on to say, "This is why Jesus can sum up the entire law - the entire will of God for our lives - in two great commands: to love and live for God rather than ourselves and to love and put the needs of others ahead of our own (Matthew 22:37-40).
I have noticed people giving much of themselves for others and for certain ministries and thought, "How can they do that?" I just really was not that giving. And, I have recognized that I was taking my husband for granted, and would do better for awhile, and then fall back into my old patterns.
I cannot find the quote, (and it is possible it might be in another Christian book I am reading)but somewhere I read that we cannot give ourselves up in this way (as the Bible teaches) unless it is out of Holy Spirit filled gratitude for what Jesus did on the cross.
I then realized that I have been taking my salvation for granted. I started praying that the Holy Spirit would reveal to me the depths of my sin and more understanding of what Jesus went through for me. God has been answering this prayer - primarily the first part at this point.
For so long I have focused on my pet sin of turning to food for comfort, entertainment, soothing, etc. I now believe Satan was encouraging me in this because it kept my focus off of the deeper rooted sin of my worship of self (and my desires, etc). I have been living to please myself. More to come later. . .
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