Confronting my own self-centeredness. . .

  I can definitely say that God has been working on me through various venues.  In our family group from church we have been reading, The Meaning of Marriage. It is written by Tim Keller based on a number of sermons he preached about marriage. So far Chapter 2 has been the kicker for me. The part that convicted me most? It was, "Confronting Our Own Self-Centeredness".  Mr. Keller quotes 2nd Corinthians chapter 5 verse 15 in regard to Jesus,"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again". I have been a Christian my whole life and have heard this plenty of times, as well as the following verse.  "Whoever finds his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:39)
    Yet, somehow I never really got it until I read, "There is the essence of sin, according to the Bible - living for ourselves, rather than for God and the people around us" (pg. 63 in The Meaning of Marriage).  I stopped for a bit after reading this.  The Holy Spirit within me convicted me that this was how I had been living. I sometimes tried to do nice things for people, but giving my life away for others was not a way of life for me.  Throughout the day what guided me was how I felt and what I wanted - my passions and desires. Ultimately this drove most of my decisions. Mr. Keller goes on to say, "This is why Jesus can sum up the entire law - the entire will of God for our lives - in two great commands:  to love and live for God rather than ourselves and to love and put the needs of others ahead of our own (Matthew 22:37-40).
  I have noticed people giving much of themselves for others and for certain ministries and thought, "How can they do that?" I just really was not that giving.  And, I have recognized that I was taking my husband for granted, and would do better for awhile, and then fall back into my old patterns.
  I cannot find the quote, (and it is possible it might be in another Christian book I am reading)but somewhere I read that we cannot give ourselves up in this way (as the Bible teaches) unless it is out of Holy Spirit filled gratitude for what Jesus did on the cross.
  I then realized that I have been taking my salvation for granted. I started praying that the Holy Spirit would reveal to me the depths of my sin and more understanding of what Jesus went through for me.  God has been answering this prayer - primarily the first part at this point.
    For so long I have focused on my pet sin of turning to food for comfort, entertainment, soothing, etc. I now believe Satan was encouraging me in this because it kept my focus off of the deeper rooted sin of my worship of self (and my desires, etc). I have been living to please myself. More to come later. . .