Saturday, June 15, 2013
I am sorry "Lebo's"
Howdy. Well, although I have already confessed to my husband, a manager at Lebo's, and God, I still feel the need to blog about my. . . hmmm. . . lack of word censorship in a public place. Maybe I feel like I owe Lebo's some free, accurate publicity. Here goes. . .
So, I have mentioned in an earlier post that I am off of the happy pills. I am feeling more alive than I have in a long time, but I am also recognizing some tendency towards certain sins that I think the happy pills camouflaged. I have also been trying not to take Ritalin (for, as you are likely aware, ADD/ADHD). My daughter Margaret (3 years old) is starting dance camp next week at the YMCA and she has never done any kind of formal dancing at all (or lessons of any sort at all). I talked to my friend whose daughter I knew had taken dance lessons about where to go to get dance shoes. She said she went to "Lebo's". I said, "Oh, I have seen that on Independence and thought 'western wear' - who goes there?!" Then I thought to myself, "Oh man, maybe I just hurt her feelings, because, after all, she is my friend and DOES go there." You would think that would be enough for me to keep that thought to myself in the future. NOPE. What do I say to the woman who greets us almost right after I tell her what I was looking for?? You guessed it. "I have seen your store from Independence and thought 'western wear' - who goes there?!"
The employee promptly says, "I was just telling my managers that 5 minutes ago and they didn't believe me. I want you to tell them exactly what you just told me."
So....we turn around and head back to the checkout counter area (on a platform sort of thing) where 2 twenty-something employees are standing, as well as 1 thirty-something white male person who looks to be a manager (Wow, I seem to be just dripping the stereotypes today). The woman (I believe her name is Shari), Shari, says something to the effect of 'you need to listen to this'. I look up at the people but then down as I repeat my words for the third time. I then look up again and see a man wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy shirt standing there and his face looks a little pink. I felt bad.
I realize now why I felt bad. By my saying, "Who goes there?!" I was implying that anyone who digs western wear is a nobody. Yikes. Not the message I want to be sending as a Christian. I like to think that I have gotten better about being judgmental. I wrote my thesis in undergrad on automatic prejudice (and did a lot of research on stereotyping) and have certainly been humbled on many many occasions. And yet, here I was totally dissing people who had a different preference in clothing style to me. Yikes again. Very sad. So, more accurately, I am sorry patrons of western wear. No, I don't think I will ever own a cowboy hat or shoes, but I am very sorry that I assumed I could know everything I needed to know about you based on the style of clothes you choose to wear. There. It is out.
Now, for the free promo: Lebo's is really cool. They DO have western wear, but they have LOTS of other things too. They have lots of awesome shoes. Okay, for sure I know they have lots of cool women's shoes, because I was not looking for shoes for my husband (he is getting other things for Father's Day). They have "Dansko" and "Alegria" (think really cute, patterned, adult Mary Janes) and they even have shoes specifically for doing ZUMBA!!!! I did not even know there were shoes specific to Zumba (did I mention I enjoy Zumba? Well, I do). They have dance shoes for children and adults, leotards, tights, and tutus. And. . . drum roll please. . . they have ADULT SIZE TUTUS!!! I have secretly been admiring Margaret's tutus and wishing they made them for women. Little did I know that they do! Anyhow, I plan to go back sometime when i can check out the adult dance wear. I can't tell you if the pricing is good or not because I have never bought tights or leotards or dance shoes before. The women's shoes I liked are pretty pricey, so I would have to wait for a really good sale. I am just too frugal. Alright, well I have never written promotional material before, so that is all I have to say. www.lebos.com
P.S. I called Lebo's after I got back and gave a bumbling apology to the man in the cowboy hat. I should have talked to God first. You know, I am so grateful for grace that we have in Jesus Christ. There is a reason Margaret's middle name is "Grace". We all need it!!!
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I think you are being way too hard on yourself. We all say derogatory things sometimes; it's inevitable.
ReplyDeleteThe difference between you and a lot of other people is that 1) you realize it without anyone else telling you and 2) you apologize. A lot of other people have to be told that they have offended someone, and they even have to have it explained to them of why they offended the person because they are so inane that they do not get it. And then, even when the person gets it, they will not apologize. They just turn and walk away- literally and/or figuratively.
We all make mistakes. You are one of those [sadly] rare people who realizes their wrongs and lets the people you have wronged know you are sorry. And as long as you do that all is well, because we as human beings cannot help but screw things up occasionally.
Dear Amelia,
DeleteYou are so right. I have been really hard on myself. You offered me mercy to give myself and I refused it. I did not learn mercy growing up. I am hoping that God will teach me how to give mercy to myself and others. I wrote about it in my most recent post, "Surprised by Mercy". Thank you Amelia. Well, it has taken me a year, but at least I am becoming more aware of mercy :)
Hmmm. . yes, we are each human, and I believe capable of great evil and great good. And, we will certainly screw up A LOT. Yet I see freshly how reducing a group of people to one characteristic of their make-up (being color, fashion style, religion, sexual orientation, etc.)and assuming I know everything about 'them' has led to horrible atrocities in this country and the world. Check out "Paper Clips" on hulu.com . It is about a small town of homogenous folks seeking to educate their kids about dangers of stereotyping and the importance of valuing diversity. So, they teach them about the Holocaust. I just got a chill thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteI am at peace now, but I was not earlier. I hold myself to the high standard of Jesus Christ, and I will never meet it. yet I pray that He will refine me in this process called life.
Wow. No mercy in this response from me. My friend even tried to offer it to me, and I refused it. Yikes.
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